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Healthy Boundaries for a Healthy Life and Business: 5 Tips

November 20th, 2011 by Sherry Collier

Boundaries

When you create healthy boundaries in your personal life and business life, you are setting yourself up for success.  When those boundaries are blurred, you will suffer from burn-out, depression, anxiety and other unwanted side effects.  It can be challenging to set healthy boundaries when we have so many different people, tasks, and activities competing for our energy and attention.  It is time to get clear about what really matters in your life and then make decisions about who and what to let in and who and what to keep at a healthy distance.

What are boundaries anyway?  Remember back to biology class when you looked at the single cell under the microscope and learned about the cell wall, the nucleus, the cytoplasm, and all the other parts of the cell?  Each cell of your body has a cell wall.  This wall has to be strong enough to keep out toxins and bacteria while being permeable to allow water and nutrients in to nourish the cell.  It is the same with our psyche.  We must allow our hearts and minds to take in nourishing interactions, love, and energy-producing input while keeping out the negative information that can sometimes come with interacting with our fellow humans in an imperfect world. 

Some individuals are more prone to having blurry psychological boundaries than others.  For people who tend to be sensitive (emotionally, psychologically and spiritually) boundaries can be a challenge and they can become easily entangled or enmeshed with others “stuff”.  Other individuals struggle with rigid boundaries.  They may have been hurt by others and have erected rigid psychological walls to prevent themselves from being hurt again. 

Here is a short list of tips for creating healthy boundaries.

1.  Before you say “yes” to anything or anyone, take a moment to do a mind/body system check.  Scan your body for signs of discomfort.  Scan your mind for emotions that come up in response to the request.  If you feel discomfort bodily or emotionally, put off the decision until you have some time to thoroughly investigate.  You could simply have a stock reply ready that says, “I’m not sure if I can do that, I’ll get back to you in a day or so to let you know.”

2. Before you head off into your day (your work, your interactions, your activities), take some time to picture healthy boundaries encircling your body.  Picture your boundaries as permeable to love and positivity, but closed to other’s negativity, judgmentalism and bad ideas.

3. Pray.  Ask your Creator if this is something that is yours or if this is something that should not enter your personal-responsibility realm.  There are many times that God can speak to us about what to take on and what to stay away from if we will just take the time to ask.

4. Go about your life with a strong knowing deep down in your core that you do not need to take on other’s emotions, responsibilities, and causes.  You are unique.  You have a personality, talents, skills and an emotional make-up that is like none other – therefore, you will be drawn to different activities, callings, and relationships.  You do not need to take up everyone else’s idea of what should be.

5. Practice saying “no”.  Say “no” in the mirror and say it with force.  Every time you say “no” to someone or something that is asking you to do something that does not line up with your vision, you are saying “yes” to your unique calling, your unique self – and you are valuing yourself and others in this way.

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From Frazzled to Calm and Clear

November 8th, 2011 by Sherry Collier

The events of the past few days took their emotional and mental toll and I found myself feeling frazzled and lost this morning. My mind was racing with multiple to do lists. My thoughts were fuzzy and unclear about what to do next and how to find some calm and joy. Yuck! I needed to take a vacation from my own head!

Have you ever experienced days, weeks, maybe even months when you felt shaken, frazzled, worried and spinning? When you have a vision for your life, whether that is launching and growing your own business or creating a life that is meaningful to you, there is bound to be opposition. Whenever you set out to create anything good, there will be battles.

Opposition to your vision can come from friends, family, strangers, and other people in our lives who may have good intentions (or not) when they give us advice to ditch our dream and return to status quo. I will even venture so far as to say that opposition can come from the unseen world as well, there are dark forces that work against the light you are trying to shine forth in this world through your life and business of purpose.

What should we do when we find our thoughts and emotions stirred up into a frenzy of doubt, darkness and fear that we are missing the boat?

1. Take time to get quiet, place one hand over your heart and one hand over your forehead and breathe deeply. To stop the spinning, the lack of clarity and the worry, we must move from our frenzied thoughts (head) to our heart and soul. Give yourself permission to take time to let your Creator speak soothingly to you and to bring your mind back to the solid ground of heart-knowing. Heart knowing can help the frenzied brain to slow itself and find the eye of calm within the storm.

2. Give yourself a pep talk that your vision, your dream is not just some random thing that popped into your head one day. Vision and dreams come from a life of observing needs, listening to your heart, listening for the heart of God and watering the seeds of dreams little by little over time. When your dream is a false dream, it will center around something shallow. When your dream is a vision of purpose, it will center around bringing life and zest back to your life and the lives of those around you.

3. To help get you out of your head and into your heart, do a creative activity. One exercise I find extremely helpful is to start by drawing (with chalk pastels) the essence of the thoughts and feelings swirling around in my head and body. Assign colors, textures and shapes to the feelings that are disturbing you and draw them. This helps you to express, to get out these feelings – where you can take a look at them and recognize them so they become less powerful and scary.

Next, close your eyes and imagine your heart and mind being quieted by beautiful sounds and sights of nature, words whispered by God to your heart, and beautiful colors, lights and images coming toward you and engulfing you in a warm wave of love and light. Draw the healing images now. Stand back and look at the two contrasts. These differing pictures you’ve drawn have something to teach you and you will notice your thoughts becoming more clear and your heart becoming more engaged with the love and light of life.

Rather than just write about this today, I’ve decided to show you what I do when I need a vacation from my own head. You’ll see the photographs I’ve included in this blog article of my own expressive drawing (I’m entitling it “Frazzled”) and my healing drawing (entitled “In Bloom”). Hope you enjoy them and I hope the simplistic lines, shapes, colors and images will encourage you to draw too. Draw for expression and healing, not to impress your friends with your abilities.

"Frazzled"


In Bloom

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Creativity is the Mother of Innovation: Five Ways to Spark Creativity

September 19th, 2011 by Sherry Collier

Innovation is the mother of great ideas, products, services, technologies and processes.  Creativity is the mother of innovation.  Knowing that we must spark creativity to keep our lives and businesses fresh and new isn’t enough.  We must act on this knowledge if we want innovation to pour forth.  Business owners often live in their head […]

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Forgive to Create Success in Life and Business

September 5th, 2011 by Sherry Collier

There are pages and pages of advice about how to succeed in life and business, but one aspect of success that rarely receives proper discussion is the act of forgiveness.  How does forgiveness lead to success in life and business you ask?  When you forgive a person or an organization for any wrong committed against […]

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Building A Business with Purpose: Five Tips

August 29th, 2011 by Sherry Collier

Have you started your own business but lost momentum, motivation and seen growth slow down or stop altogether?  If you are like some entrepreneurs, you may have started many different businesses over the years, but never really experienced the kind of success you desired.  In this article, I’m going to discuss an important principle to get clear […]

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Overcome Obstacles to Your Vision: Four Tips

August 8th, 2011 by Sherry Collier

When you have a “vision” that burns with passion in your very soul – you want to change what is to what could be or what should be.  You have been given a glimpse of how something (or someone’s life) could be bettered, improved, transformed.  Any time someone catches a vision and begins to act […]

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Accountability Works: Four Reasons and Four Tips

July 16th, 2011 by Sherry Collier

Accountability is an important aspect of any program designed to ignite growth whether it is personal growth, business growth, spiritual growth, or financial growth. Part of the value of any aspect of a personal/professional development  program is knowing why it works and how it works. In this article, I hope to highlight four of the […]

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Re-Discover Your Authentic Self: Five Tips

June 27th, 2011 by Sherry Collier

Have you ever struggled with a foggy concept of who you really are and the true nature of your life’s calling?  You may have found yourself working in a job or business that leaves you sapped of strength, void of passion and being tossed to a fro like a small boat on a stormy ocean.  […]

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Want to Pinpoint Your Passion? Know Your Personality Type

June 20th, 2011 by Sherry Collier

If you want long-term success, follow your passion.  Don’t chase the money, the power or the fame – find out what really makes you tick and develop a career or a business based on your passion.  I’ve heard this throughout my life and you probably have heard this too, but then we forget.  When some […]

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Life Purpose: A Radical View – Part Four

June 6th, 2011 by Sherry Collier

Life has a way of busying our minds to the point that we can lose ourselves.  I believe that every individual is born with unique gifts, traits, and passions written on their hearts.  I began writing this article series entitled “Life Purpose:  A Radical View” to discuss the fun and important work of reconnecting with […]

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