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Goal Setting: Get Ready for a Puposeful 2013

January 31st, 2013 by Sherry Collier

Do you want to live a more meaningful and successful life in 2013?
Set goals for your life, your relationships, and your work or
business to increase your odds of success in each category.  Before
you set goals, it is important to take a look back to find out what
worked, what didn’t work, and if you accomplished what you wanted
to accomplish.

Creating effectiveness in life, love, and work comes from getting
conscious about where you have been, where you are, where you are
headed, and how to get there.  In other words – taking a personal
inventory and goal setting is a vital part of creating a productive
life.  Why should you bother to spend time and energy on assessing
the past year and setting goals for the coming year?  If you are
passionate about accomplishing specific missions or goals in your
life, relationships, and your work or business, you must take the
time to understand the past and plan for the future.  Achieving
excellence requires planning and mindfulness.

When you set a goal, it gets your whole being (mind, body, spirit)
pointed in a specific direction.  Your human psyche must know how
to organize itself to take you where you want to go much like an
arrow must be pointed toward the target that the archer wants it to
hit. Without goals you may remain hazy and unsure about what you
are doing and where you are headed which leads to aimlessly
wandering from activity to activity.  Follow in the footsteps of
many successful business owners, ministry-leaders, pastors, and
other leaders who set aside specific times throughout the year to
set goals, analyze what needs to be tweeked, and make plans too
accomplish the most important goals.

Taking An Inventory

Step One:  Before you even begin to set goals for the upcoming
year, it is imperative to sit down and write out your thoughts and
feelings about the past year and what you have or have not
accomplished.  Get out some paper ( do not type this on the
computer as the act of writing is cathartic in and of itself), sit
down in a quiet room and divide your paper up into three
categories:  Life, Love (Relationships) and Work.  You can dedicate
one whole piece of paper to each category or use a huge sheet of
paper with three columns.

Step Two:  Start with your “Life” category.  Looking back over the
past year, what was your life’s purpose or mission?  Based on what
you accomplished spiritually, physically, and emotionally – what
message did your life send out to the world, how did it measure up
to God’s calling?  What do you remember about the beginning of last
year and what you thought your life would/should look like in 2011?

Write down how that came to pass or how it missed the mark.  If
your life missed the mark in certain areas – get specific about
what got off track and make notes about what you think you should
avoid as you prepare to set goals for your life in 2012.

Step Three:  Moving on to your “Love” category – look over your
relationships from the past year.  Write down how you impacted all
your relationships:  parents, children, spouses, significant
others, siblings, friends, co-workers, employees,
ministry-partners, business partners, etc.  Grade yourself with a
simple 1 – 10 numeric system for your satisfaction with each
relationship (1 would be not satisfied at all, 10 would be very
satisfied).  Be sure to approach this from the perspective of how
YOU performed in the relationship (since you cannot do anything
about how they performed).   Write out specific thoughts, feelings,
and actions you remember going through with each significant
relationship and what might have caused some of these.

Step Four:  Now take a look at the “Work” or “Business” category of
your life over the past year.  Have you participated in a career, a
business that you own, or a job?  Write about the different aspects
of your work or business and what you liked, what you didn’t like.
Write about what went well, what didn’t go well.  Write down new
talents or strengths you used or developed and what weaknesses came
to the forefront.  What specific roles, tasks, technical
procedures, and/or aspects did you enjoy?  What parts of your work
self need further development?

Step Five:  Wrap up this inventory exercise by reading it all out
loud to yourself and summing up each category with one main theme
phrase or several descriptive words and a numeric rating of your
personal satisfaction in each category over the past year.  For
example, as you look over what your life stood for during the past
year you might write, “Mother, Wife, Encourager, Supporter” and
then an “8” if you were pretty satisfied about how your life
manifested these themes.

You’re work with your inventory has now reached a stage that you
can set it aside for a full day (sleep on it) and let this
information soak into the deeper layers of your consciousness.
Keep these notes handy because you will be using them as you sit
down in your next “session” to begin the important work of looking
toward the new year.

My next article will teach you a simple way to effectively set
goals for the new year based upon what you learned during your 2011

Happy New Year!


Dare to Be the Real You

September 2nd, 2012 by Sherry Collier

Knowing where you energy comes from and how your particular brain needs to process information is incredibly valuable to the quality of your relationships, your career, your business and your life as a whole.  Once you know your own preference about energy-source and information processing, you will understand your own needs better and be able to manage your life and your health.  You will also understand the needs of your loved ones better and how to work with them if they are opposite from you in this aspect of personality.

In the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI®) the first aspect of personality that is assessed is that of Extravert/Introvert.  Myers-Briggs defines these two words differently than the dictionary, so here are the working definitions:

Introverted type – someone who needs time alone in order to re-energize.  They need to be able to process information internally.
Extraverted type – someone who needs to be with people in order to re-energize.  They need to be able to process information externally.

If you are an Introverted type  – you may be a person who likes to process thoughts and feelings quietly within yourself and might also appear to be “shy” at times, but this is not necessarily the case.  The Introverted type receives energy from alone time and is more adept at solving problems if they have time alone to think about them.  When at a gathering or party the Introverted type may speak with only a few people, but more in depth.  As an Introverted type, you may actually feel drained after a big party or event where you have been required to interact with others for a sustained amount of time.  The Introverted type will need to carve out time and space to get alone and re-charge their batteries throughout the day.

If the Introverted type is in a business role that demands a lot of interaction with people, they may want to consider hiring an Extraverted type to help them with the more extroverted tasks.  If they are in a relationship with an Extraverted type, they need to understand that the Extravert is not being egotistical by talking about themselves a lot – they just need to keep their thoughts and feelings moving by talking out loud.

If you are an Extraverted type you are a person who likes to talk about your feelings and thoughts out loud with another person or people.  The Extravert’s brain functions best when processing ideas, thoughts, and feelings out loud and getting others’ feedback (both verbal and non-verbal).  They are feeling most energized when they are with people and should be careful to surround themselves with other positive people each day.  The Extraverted type will also benefit from alone time, but really needs to balance that with people time as they are more prone to depression if isolated.

The Extravert will talk to many different people at a gathering or party and comes across as outgoing.  Extraverts are good at drawing people out and asking them questions to get a conversation started, but they might not be as prone to having deep conversations at a party or gathering as would the Introverted type.

If the Extraverted type is in a significant relationship with an Introverted type, they will need to understand that the internal processor really does need “cave” time or time to get alone with his or her thoughts – and not to take this personally.  The Extraverted type makes decisions as they talk it through whereas an Introverted type makes decisions after mulling things over quietly.  If the people with these differing approaches understand this, they can avoid thinking negatively about their opposite approaches and allow for the quiet time and/or venting time needed to process.

One way to explain the differences in how the Extravert and the Introvert process information, Is to say that Introverts like to “fully bake” their thoughts, opinions and ideas inside themselves before they speak, whereas the Extravert must talk through their thoughts, opinions and ideas in order to come to a “fully baked” thought.  This can explain why some Introverts can be confused by the Extravert and think that they keep changing their mind.  This can also explain why the Extravert may get frustrated with the Introvert for not being able to “talk through” their ideas right away.  We must be patient with each other in our differing needs and ways of communicating thoughts and ideas.

There are many other components to understanding your “type” but this article would be a very long book indeed if we attempted to cover them all.  Even so, a lengthy book could not possibly cover each nuance and interplay of the wide variety of personality traits.  Just as each snowflake is completely unique (no two alike), you are truly unique and truly gifted, making this world an interesting place of variety and “spice”.

If you are experiencing frustration in your career, in your business or in your relationships, one of the most helpful things you could do is to find out your whole personality type (all four letters of your type).  You can discover extremely powerful information in your MBTI type.  When you understand about all four aspects (or preferences) of your personality and how they all combine to make you who you are, you experience freedom to be who you were truly created to be while allowing others in your life to be their unique selves.

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 16 years of experience helping my clients understand their type and how to apply it to the improvements they want to make in their lives, work and relationships.  I am currently offering a limited-time offer of my “Personality Plus” consulting package – this includes the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI ®) Self-Scored Assessment, a pre-assessment consultation (55 minutes) and 2 follow-up consultations (55 minutes each) to explain your results accurately and help you practically apply this knowledge to your life, work, relationships, and any other specific aspect of your life you want to improve.

Contact Sherry at 760-445-3415 or email her at and write “Personality Plus” in the subject line to set up your complimentary (free) consultation by phone (or Skype) to see how this or other consultation packages will help you succeed in your life, work and/or business.

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How Nature Heals Us

August 20th, 2012 by Sherry Collier

Richard Louv, the author of “Last Child in the Woods” writes about the importance of nature in the lives of children.  He coined the term, “nature deficit disorder” and he sets out some pretty impressive research about how children heal in nature, how they are inspired to creativity in nature and how they develop their […]


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How to Stay Sane in an Insane World of Technology

July 3rd, 2012 by Sherry Collier

As a mom who also happens to be a Marriage and Family Therapist, I see the huge need we have for more balance.  I see the devastating effects of technology-driven lives in children, couples, families, and even in the families’ pets.  Technology can separate us.  It can cause us to live in a made-up world […]


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Moving Out of Your Comfort Zone: Five Tips

June 19th, 2012 by Sherry Collier

You’ve heard it before, “move out of your comfort zone” is the familiar phrase spoken by many entrepreneurs, gurus and mentors. As a therapist and small business owner, I’ve come to appreciate the sage advice to move beyond my comfort zone in business, relationships, and life.  When it came time for me to launch out […]


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Self Esteem Versus Self Worth – Radio Show

May 31st, 2012 by Sherry Collier

Click on this link to be taken to Lori Stone’s Living For Wellness radio show page at my107.9 to listen to this important talk about the importance of Self Worth:    


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Self-Worth versus Self-Esteem

April 30th, 2012 by Sherry Collier

We have all heard so much about the importance of having a good self-esteem, but as a therapist, I beg to differ. What?!  A therapist who does not believe in having good self- esteem?!  Before you navigate away from this article, hear me out.  I believe that having a healthy self-concept is extremely important – […]


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Overcome Overwhelm: 5 Steps to Renew Your Mind

April 17th, 2012 by Sherry Collier

You know that frantic feeling that comes when you have way too much to do and not enough time to do it all?  The brain seems to be in a fog, unable to prioritize and put things in order.  Then you spin out and shut down – crumpled up on your couch with a huge […]


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Overcome Your Fear of Failure

March 26th, 2012 by Sherry Collier

Fear can be both a helpful response and a hindering response in life depending upon what kind of fear is occurring and how you respond to it. When you are growing up, fear played an important role in teaching you not to touch a hot stove or run into traffic. Later in life, those same […]


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How to Be Happy

March 5th, 2012 by Sherry Collier

Do you know how to be happy?  This could sound like a strange question, but too often people think happiness is something that happens TO them. Let’s stop a moment and see if we can properly define happiness.  Webster’s seems to think it is the following: ”a state of well-being and contentment.”  This seems about […]


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