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Dare to Be the Real You

Knowing where you energy comes from and how your particular brain needs to process information is incredibly valuable to the quality of your relationships, your career, your business and your life as a whole.  Once you know your own preference about energy-source and information processing, you will understand your own needs better and be able to manage your life and your health.  You will also understand the needs of your loved ones better and how to work with them if they are opposite from you in this aspect of personality.

In the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI®) the first aspect of personality that is assessed is that of Extravert/Introvert.  Myers-Briggs defines these two words differently than the dictionary, so here are the working definitions:

Introverted type – someone who needs time alone in order to re-energize.  They need to be able to process information internally.
Extraverted type – someone who needs to be with people in order to re-energize.  They need to be able to process information externally.

If you are an Introverted type  – you may be a person who likes to process thoughts and feelings quietly within yourself and might also appear to be “shy” at times, but this is not necessarily the case.  The Introverted type receives energy from alone time and is more adept at solving problems if they have time alone to think about them.  When at a gathering or party the Introverted type may speak with only a few people, but more in depth.  As an Introverted type, you may actually feel drained after a big party or event where you have been required to interact with others for a sustained amount of time.  The Introverted type will need to carve out time and space to get alone and re-charge their batteries throughout the day.

If the Introverted type is in a business role that demands a lot of interaction with people, they may want to consider hiring an Extraverted type to help them with the more extroverted tasks.  If they are in a relationship with an Extraverted type, they need to understand that the Extravert is not being egotistical by talking about themselves a lot – they just need to keep their thoughts and feelings moving by talking out loud.

If you are an Extraverted type you are a person who likes to talk about your feelings and thoughts out loud with another person or people.  The Extravert’s brain functions best when processing ideas, thoughts, and feelings out loud and getting others’ feedback (both verbal and non-verbal).  They are feeling most energized when they are with people and should be careful to surround themselves with other positive people each day.  The Extraverted type will also benefit from alone time, but really needs to balance that with people time as they are more prone to depression if isolated.

The Extravert will talk to many different people at a gathering or party and comes across as outgoing.  Extraverts are good at drawing people out and asking them questions to get a conversation started, but they might not be as prone to having deep conversations at a party or gathering as would the Introverted type.

If the Extraverted type is in a significant relationship with an Introverted type, they will need to understand that the internal processor really does need “cave” time or time to get alone with his or her thoughts – and not to take this personally.  The Extraverted type makes decisions as they talk it through whereas an Introverted type makes decisions after mulling things over quietly.  If the people with these differing approaches understand this, they can avoid thinking negatively about their opposite approaches and allow for the quiet time and/or venting time needed to process.

One way to explain the differences in how the Extravert and the Introvert process information, Is to say that Introverts like to “fully bake” their thoughts, opinions and ideas inside themselves before they speak, whereas the Extravert must talk through their thoughts, opinions and ideas in order to come to a “fully baked” thought.  This can explain why some Introverts can be confused by the Extravert and think that they keep changing their mind.  This can also explain why the Extravert may get frustrated with the Introvert for not being able to “talk through” their ideas right away.  We must be patient with each other in our differing needs and ways of communicating thoughts and ideas.

There are many other components to understanding your “type” but this article would be a very long book indeed if we attempted to cover them all.  Even so, a lengthy book could not possibly cover each nuance and interplay of the wide variety of personality traits.  Just as each snowflake is completely unique (no two alike), you are truly unique and truly gifted, making this world an interesting place of variety and “spice”.

If you are experiencing frustration in your career, in your business or in your relationships, one of the most helpful things you could do is to find out your whole personality type (all four letters of your type).  You can discover extremely powerful information in your MBTI type.  When you understand about all four aspects (or preferences) of your personality and how they all combine to make you who you are, you experience freedom to be who you were truly created to be while allowing others in your life to be their unique selves.

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 16 years of experience helping my clients understand their type and how to apply it to the improvements they want to make in their lives, work and relationships.  I am currently offering a limited-time offer of my “Personality Plus” consulting package – this includes the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI ®) Self-Scored Assessment, a pre-assessment consultation (55 minutes) and 2 follow-up consultations (55 minutes each) to explain your results accurately and help you practically apply this knowledge to your life, work, relationships, and any other specific aspect of your life you want to improve.

Contact Sherry at 760-445-3415 or email her at and write “Personality Plus” in the subject line to set up your complimentary (free) consultation by phone (or Skype) to see how this or other consultation packages will help you succeed in your life, work and/or business.

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