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Dare to Be the Real You

September 2nd, 2012 by Sherry Collier

Knowing where you energy comes from and how your particular brain needs to process information is incredibly valuable to the quality of your relationships, your career, your business and your life as a whole.  Once you know your own preference about energy-source and information processing, you will understand your own needs better and be able to manage your life and your health.  You will also understand the needs of your loved ones better and how to work with them if they are opposite from you in this aspect of personality.

In the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI®) the first aspect of personality that is assessed is that of Extravert/Introvert.  Myers-Briggs defines these two words differently than the dictionary, so here are the working definitions:

Introverted type – someone who needs time alone in order to re-energize.  They need to be able to process information internally.
Extraverted type – someone who needs to be with people in order to re-energize.  They need to be able to process information externally.

If you are an Introverted type  – you may be a person who likes to process thoughts and feelings quietly within yourself and might also appear to be “shy” at times, but this is not necessarily the case.  The Introverted type receives energy from alone time and is more adept at solving problems if they have time alone to think about them.  When at a gathering or party the Introverted type may speak with only a few people, but more in depth.  As an Introverted type, you may actually feel drained after a big party or event where you have been required to interact with others for a sustained amount of time.  The Introverted type will need to carve out time and space to get alone and re-charge their batteries throughout the day.

If the Introverted type is in a business role that demands a lot of interaction with people, they may want to consider hiring an Extraverted type to help them with the more extroverted tasks.  If they are in a relationship with an Extraverted type, they need to understand that the Extravert is not being egotistical by talking about themselves a lot – they just need to keep their thoughts and feelings moving by talking out loud.

If you are an Extraverted type you are a person who likes to talk about your feelings and thoughts out loud with another person or people.  The Extravert’s brain functions best when processing ideas, thoughts, and feelings out loud and getting others’ feedback (both verbal and non-verbal).  They are feeling most energized when they are with people and should be careful to surround themselves with other positive people each day.  The Extraverted type will also benefit from alone time, but really needs to balance that with people time as they are more prone to depression if isolated.

The Extravert will talk to many different people at a gathering or party and comes across as outgoing.  Extraverts are good at drawing people out and asking them questions to get a conversation started, but they might not be as prone to having deep conversations at a party or gathering as would the Introverted type.

If the Extraverted type is in a significant relationship with an Introverted type, they will need to understand that the internal processor really does need “cave” time or time to get alone with his or her thoughts – and not to take this personally.  The Extraverted type makes decisions as they talk it through whereas an Introverted type makes decisions after mulling things over quietly.  If the people with these differing approaches understand this, they can avoid thinking negatively about their opposite approaches and allow for the quiet time and/or venting time needed to process.

One way to explain the differences in how the Extravert and the Introvert process information, Is to say that Introverts like to “fully bake” their thoughts, opinions and ideas inside themselves before they speak, whereas the Extravert must talk through their thoughts, opinions and ideas in order to come to a “fully baked” thought.  This can explain why some Introverts can be confused by the Extravert and think that they keep changing their mind.  This can also explain why the Extravert may get frustrated with the Introvert for not being able to “talk through” their ideas right away.  We must be patient with each other in our differing needs and ways of communicating thoughts and ideas.

There are many other components to understanding your “type” but this article would be a very long book indeed if we attempted to cover them all.  Even so, a lengthy book could not possibly cover each nuance and interplay of the wide variety of personality traits.  Just as each snowflake is completely unique (no two alike), you are truly unique and truly gifted, making this world an interesting place of variety and “spice”.

If you are experiencing frustration in your career, in your business or in your relationships, one of the most helpful things you could do is to find out your whole personality type (all four letters of your type).  You can discover extremely powerful information in your MBTI type.  When you understand about all four aspects (or preferences) of your personality and how they all combine to make you who you are, you experience freedom to be who you were truly created to be while allowing others in your life to be their unique selves.

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 16 years of experience helping my clients understand their type and how to apply it to the improvements they want to make in their lives, work and relationships.  I am currently offering a limited-time offer of my “Personality Plus” consulting package – this includes the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI ®) Self-Scored Assessment, a pre-assessment consultation (55 minutes) and 2 follow-up consultations (55 minutes each) to explain your results accurately and help you practically apply this knowledge to your life, work, relationships, and any other specific aspect of your life you want to improve.

Contact Sherry at 760-445-3415 or email her at and write “Personality Plus” in the subject line to set up your complimentary (free) consultation by phone (or Skype) to see how this or other consultation packages will help you succeed in your life, work and/or business.

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Reinvent Yourself: Four Tips

August 1st, 2011 by Sherry Collier

Have a Vision for Your Life

If you are tired of your job or coming out of a long period of being jobless, you may be at a great point in your life to reinvent yourself.  It is possible to know exactly who you are and what you were created to do with your life and time here on earth.  In fact, when you are operating from your authentic self, with purpose and passion, you will feel joy and motivation regardless of any obstacles you must face.

Here are four tips to consider before you reinvent yourself.

1.  Before you decide to switch careers, start your dream business or make a major life shift, pause and take some time out to reflect and prepare to define your life mission statement.  Ask yourself, “what is my life purpose?” and then sit down with pen and paper and imagine you are at the end of your life.  As you imagine yourself looking back over your life, your relationships, your activities, what do you really like about your life?  What do you wish you had done differently?  Do you see any talents or strengths that went unused during your life?  Do you see any burning desires you did or did not follow up with action?  Just begin to jot down thoughts, insights, and impressions about your end-of-life perspective.

2.  Write your actual life mission statement.  Start out describing your unique personality traits and gifts and then write out what you want to do with these unique gifts and traits in your life, your relationships and your work.  You can use this fill in the blank paragraph to help you. 

I am a/an_________________________, ____________________________, & ____________________________(personality traits, adjectives) woman/man who likes to _________________________ & _____________________________ (verbs or actions).  My burning desire is to ________________________________________________ &_________________________________________________(ideals, passions, actions)  throughout the course of my life.  I want to treat the people in my life with respect and love and I can do this uniquely with my relational style by __________________________________________ & ____________________________________.  The kind of work I want to do includes_________________________________________________________________________________________________.  The single most important thing to me is__________________________________________________________________.

3.  Now that you have written your life mission statement, decide what actions you will need to take to reinvent yourself.  I am going to list some practical ideas here to get you started:  discuss with friends what careers, business ideas, or ministries they see you doing well, begin researching online some of the interests you are contemplating in your reinvented life, hire a life reinvention coach (shameless plug for hiring me – a Life Reinvention specialist with a background in professional counseling (LMFT)). 

4.  Take at least one action to move you closer to the new vision you have for your life within one day of writing your new life mission statement and researching different actions you want to explore in your reinvented life.  Taking action right away promotes forward motion – don’t wait for everything to be perfect.  If you currently have a job that you hate, but cannot afford to quit, start researching alternatives now.  If you long for a relationship – don’t wait for life to calm down, start putting out your intentions to your friends, your family, your world right now. 

Most of us will reinvent our lives several times throughout our lifetime whether that happens in our relationship aspect, our career/business aspect or in some personal development aspect of our lives.  Major life events such as wonderful accomplishments, trauma, and/or loss can spur us to shift our entire perspective on our lives.  Use this as an opportunity to fine tune your vision and start moving toward it.  Life here on earth is short.  Compared to eternity – it is but a blip on the screen so make your blip count.  Cheers.


Re-Discover Your Authentic Self: Five Tips

June 27th, 2011 by Sherry Collier

Have you ever struggled with a foggy concept of who you really are and the true nature of your life’s calling?  You may have found yourself working in a job or business that leaves you sapped of strength, void of passion and being tossed to a fro like a small boat on a stormy ocean.  […]


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